To whom it may concern.

Dear America/USCIS/whoever you are,

Please let my fiance live in my country. He needs Chicago, Luella & Sebastian, expensive chicago food prices, 4 am bar nights, and of course I, in his life. ASAP. He needs to attempt to cram his already overstuffed wardrobe into my already stuffed closet. And he needs to fix my light bulbs that burnt out months ago, because I can’t reach them.

Thank you.

Love, Rachel.