So, I am sitting here in my muggy bedroom thinking… and I decided to make a post a bit out of normalcy. I had been thinking about obstacles. There are so many things that I have overcome in the past recent years in my life that at the time seemed impossible; simple things that now to me are just everyday tasks.
It then led me to thinking about how hard things can seem when you’re confronted with them. I am generally afraid of dealing with them, the outcome, and I think to myself… how will I ever accomplish that? How can I deal with it? And the feeling overcomes me…
The same feeling I got when it got closer and closer to me leaving england and the boy that I love behind. I was so afraid as the last day crept up on us so quickly. Immediately when I opened my eyes that morning my entire being was filled with that awful feeling of “this is it” and I did not want to deal with it. It is almost like instant rejection in my mind.
But then it happens as it has to, and I deal with it the only way I know how. And then it’s done.
I always feel pride and confidence after things like this pass me by and I learn and I adjust and they become more and more like just another part of my life. But this is the one thing I can’t really accept. I can most certainly cope but it’s just not like any other task i’ve overcame before. Of course I will adapt and get used to it, I am just not sure that I want to. I will. I would do anything for this. It’s just an odd feeling knowing that I can’t hop in my car and come to you.
My personality type is basically when I want something, I do everything in my power to get it. And generally I do when it is something I really really want… but I know he really really wants it just as badly and everything is going to be fine.
I am just lost in my thoughts currently.
It’s a perfect time to think about the things that I currently love, to kind of derail my mind from thoughts about said boyfriend…
I love Moschino. But it is sooooooo expensive.
I love Harrods. I’d love it even better if I was filthy rich.
I love a boy name gareth and he is like no other.
I love putting on a light cotton dress and going out on a hot sunny morning in michigan.
I love the english countryside and hope to spend more time there.
I like when I am settled in a new place and decorating. I love the feeling of starting over fresh.
I like to put nails in random places on my walls and hang pieces of clothing or accessories on them.
I just love decorating in general.
I love having a cup of tea in bed and blogging.
I also love luella waking me up every morning.
I like having my bed but I love having someone to share it with.
and that’s all for now.